I pulled up in the rental, a brand new 2010 Ford Explorer.  Equipped with satellite radio, heated seats, and even four wheel drive.  My teammates looked on with excitement, most of us drive pieces of shit that we can’t even guarantee will crank up each morning.  We filed into the car one by one attempting [...]

As constant as the Northern Star for the early explorers of Earth, every group of decent looking females has that token obese friend.  My curiosity does not peak at “does this phenomena exist” because of course it does, but rather “why?”.  Why must every group of hotties feel the need for an overweight friend?  This [...]

They are taking over like aids in Africa and there is nothing we can do about it.  These pale and boyish bastard excuse for males are causing young women everywhere to cream themselves – like you wish you  could do.  Your four year old daughter likes them, your fourty year old wife loves them, even [...]

Three months ago my wife gave birth to our first child. Since then our world has turned upside down. Suddenly there is an influx of dirty laundry, more cleaning, and because of all the new expenses, a whole lot less money to go around. But despite the changes, I have found being a [...]

Another year is nearing its end and all around me people are lively and excited with their hopes and aspirations for the New Year to come.  Resolutions are bountiful as usual.  I hear one over weight friend vow to lose weight, another vow to quit smoking and a few fellow coworkers vow to get more [...]

Do a Google image search on midgets and you’ll find tons of disturbing, mini, fun sized filth. Click the link and check it out for yourself!
A while back I received a forwarded email about the great bar sport of Midget Tossing. The game captivated me. I found myself wishing I could become a midget for [...]

The women in my family are at best neurotic. In fact, the entire existence of this web site is a direct product of the incomprehensible amounts of stress and damage afflicted on to me by my mother, sister and indirectly, the other women in my family, as a child. The cuts so deep that in [...]

Today is Halloween. Kids are dressed up everywhere, a feeling of mischievousness is in the air and candy is abundant. My little cousins, nieces and nephews are dressed up like princesses and ghouls, and a few are even Varsity workers! Others have their faces painted or are wearing funny wigs and masks, and at this [...]

I love to hate people who think they are allergic to everything. These sad little peons fear all types of microorganisms. They use their hypochondria to attain special treatment and sympathy and more times than not, we all suck it up like a thirsty dog lapping up antifreeze on a hot summer day.
These people refuse [...]

Last week my wife and I took a tour of the hospital she is birthing our child at. It was an insanely painful ordeal. We were caught in a group of 5 families, all of different walks of life and all including a very pregnant woman, each unknowingly torturing me in her own [...]