Bitter Sweet Victory
I pulled up in the rental, a brand new 2010 Ford Explorer. Equipped with satellite radio, heated seats, and even four wheel drive. My teammates looked on with excitement, most of us drive pieces of shit that we can’t even guarantee will crank up each morning. We filed into the car one by one attempting to mentally prepare ourselves for the grueling 8 hour drive to bum-fuck hick town Georgia. Sometimes consulting work isn’t as glamorous as it may seem.
So about 4 hours into the trip, as one might expect, we began getting to know each other quite well. So well, in fact, that one bitch decided it would be a great idea to reveal everything we never wanted to know about her. We found out among other things, that she believed she could out drink all of us. Despite her chunky 130lbs frame and my undisputable hollow legs which can only be filled with adult beverages, she challenged me.
Unexpectedly, I came prepared. Prepared with two full bottles of alcohol. I offered them some of my libation, without announcing that I had accepted the challenge. Some friendly drinks one might call it. Shortly after our endeavor I heard an unexpected sound coming from two seats down. A sound that frightened me to the core, a sound I could not bare to accept. The sound of regret.
An eruption of rum, coke, and Mom’s leftover spaghetti flew all over the floor board of our perfect rental car. It was official, this bitch had thrown up in the moving vehicle with 2 hours remaining in the trip. My victory was bitter sweet, like winning a war, but losing a fallen comrade in the process. Bits of spaghetti shrapnel covered the rear passenger side seating and “the girl who could out drink everyone” was to blame. Any sign of sympathy could not be found – we hated her instantly.
Eventually we reached our destination. The smell of leftovers and alcohol filled the air, the whole team could only feel hatred toward our horrible team mate. We shunned her very existence. Finding our way into the hotel room we could only attempt to enjoy the evening at this point. I kicked of my shoes and decided to get some rest for our important meeting in the morning.
Long story short, I kicked ass at the meeting and the spewer sucked. We still hate her.