They are taking over like aids in Africa and there is nothing we can do about it.  These pale and boyish bastard excuse for males are causing young women everywhere to cream themselves – like you wish you  could do.  Your four year old daughter likes them, your fourty year old wife loves them, even grandma can not get enough!  Yes vampires.

I have ignored it for as long as I can.  Countless nights I have spent listening to the True Blood saga take place as annoying background “fuzz” while I eat dinner.  So many evenings I have laid in bed resting my eyes while my obsessed significant other reads Twilight, only wishing I was half the vampire the characters in the books are.  Even a couple of my so called “male” friends have grown a vagina and joined in on the fun, pathetic!

These shows and books remind me of bad 80′s porn, but without the porn!  My only hope is that the readers of Jackass Soapbox and all the true men of America stand up and fight this phenomena.  Fight it with the will of any testosterone filled member of mankind.  If we don’t – IF WE FAIL – you will come home soon to find your wife unsatisfied with your manly physique, tanned skin, and callused hands – only to desire a boy with a fair complexion, boyish eyes, and hands as soft as her’s.

You can let this 110lbs fourth grader take your manhood or you can stand and fight!  Refuse to buy all of this shit for the holidays, refuse to have it viewed on your new Sony 60″ HD television with full surround sound, and refuse to role play as a vampire on those dark passionate nights (unless upon your request of course).  If we stand together, united, we can defeat this plague upon popular media and your wife will love you again.

Post Title: Vampire Obsession
Your Jackass Author: AthensWriter
Posted On: 19th November 2009
Filed As: Life In General
Comment Feed: RSS 2.0

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