The Greatest Prank of All Time, part II continues…
Part 2 continues…
[read part 1] [read the first half of part 2]
To elevate the situation, I told Larry that I edited the correspondence he sent me above and sent it to Mr. Richards, mocking him.
After the initial emails, I decided to muster up all the patience I could and sit on the prank a while, letting it develop and ferment. Halloween was coming in a few weeks and I wanted for that day to be the day of my grand finale.
In those few weeks before Halloween I drafted up the ultimate letter. I embodied the soul of an animal rights activist freak. As Mitchell Richards, the senior board member for GARP Atlanta I pledged to bring Larry to justice, but also to assist him in finding treatment for his sickness. I even topped the letter with an official looking GARP letter head, included the genuine GARP return address, and then drove 25 miles to the actual postal district that GARP’s address was located in and mailed the letter, ensuring that it would have the correct post mark when Larry received it in the mail!
Read the official GARP letter Mr. Richards mailed to Larry below:
PO Box 2042Roswell, GA 30077
October 22, 2008
Larry Glavoltz
30 ##### ##
Dallas, GA 30132
Dear Mr. Larry Glavoltz,
There are fewer things more precious and dear to American’s than justice and equality. These two simple yet elegant ideas demand fair treatment for the sake of our right to co-exist. These ideas bind our country together. They are the fabric of the patchwork quilt that blankets this country in warmth and unity. It is what makes the United States great.
Georgia Animal Rights and Protection and PETA feel that the rights extended and crafted from the very heart of justice and equality are unalienable not only to Man, but to all the living creatures of the world. It is my mission as a lifelong member of both of these reputable organizations to uphold these standards to the greatest of my ability.
Recently I was made aware of a website article that outlined the brutal murder of an innocent creature. The website article told the story of a deer that became wedged inside the driver’s side window of a vehicle passing along the animal’s path as it made its way through the woods. Instead of remaining calm and assisting the creature in becoming free, the operator of the vehicle dashed his brains out with a hammer.
I contacted the administrator of this website and received a very distasteful response. This response served as a direct admission of guilt and also made light of another act of blatant animal brutality involving a groundhog. The administrator of the website then named you as the culprit involved in these acts of violence and malevolence.
Further correspondence with this gentleman has only served to tease and undermine the mission of my organization. As a result I have requested the assistance of various animal rights and law enforcement organizations in our communities to resolve this issue. I have also conducted an interview with the foreperson that oversees the development of the construction zone concerned with the new Trump Tower off 14th St. Atlanta, while investigating the story I was told concerning the groundhog. I am sad to report that he recollects seeing more than a few carcasses of dead animals. I can only hope that you are not responsible for all these.
I request that you cooperate fully with the local authorities in their investigation of these acts. Please do not take these allegations lightly. I hope that you will take a serious look at yourself and determine if you have a problem.
In closing I would like to say that I am a firm believer in rehabilitation. If you should discover that you have a problem with animal abuse, I would be more than happy to connect you with a support group. GARP offers group therapy sessions free of charge to those afflicted with personality disorders of this nature. Our animal sensitivity focus groups have an extremely high success rate in rehabilitating those who have a history of animal abuse. As the program teaches the individual how to respect those who are members of the animal kingdom, it enriches the student with a healthier respect for their community, their common man and most importantly, themselves.
I invite you to contact me directly with any questions at 770-###-####.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Mitchell Richards
Senior Board Member, Georgia Animal Rights & Protection
Now that you’ve read the letter, prepare yourself for the climax of The Greatest Prank of All Time!
Read Part III!