Monthly Archives: October 2008

Ban the Pixie Stix!

Today is Halloween. Kids are dressed up everywhere, a feeling of mischievousness is in the air and candy is abundant. My little cousins, nieces and nephews are dressed up like princesses and ghouls, and a few are even Varsity workers! Others have their faces painted or are wearing funny wigs and masks, and at this [...]

Posted in Life In General, Where I'm coming From | 4 Comments

Hello Bubble Girl

I love to hate people who think they are allergic to everything. These sad little peons fear all types of microorganisms. They use their hypochondria to attain special treatment and sympathy and more times than not, we all suck it up like a thirsty dog lapping up antifreeze on a hot summer day. These people [...]

Posted in Life In General, Making Fun of the News | 3 Comments

More General Dissatisfaction

My very pregnant wife called me a moment ago to tell me about yet another abysmal Wal-Mart experience. Some might wonder why we would ever go back to Wal-Mart after so many bad experiences. Well, more times than not that’s all there is within close range. This was one of those times. Today my tubby, [...]

Posted in Customer Dissatisfaction | Leave a comment

Satan Loves Homeowner Associations

Every time a new homeowner association comes into power, Satan ejaculates onto his chest. Genocide is taking place in Africa, countless are dying at the hands of religious fanatics around the world and the banks and politicians are raping us all from behind but despite all this delightful evil, homeowner associations are the icing on [...]

Posted in Making Fun of the News | 1 Comment

Swollen, Handsome Preggo Udders

Last week my wife and I took a tour of the hospital she is birthing our child at. It was an insanely painful ordeal. We were caught in a group of 5 families, all of different walks of life and all including a very pregnant woman, each unknowingly torturing me in her own way. I [...]

Posted in Life In General | 2 Comments