Am I Tender Hearted?
My Badge of Shame
Today a very sweet and upbeat co-worker of mine came into my office just to say, “Peavey, you’re so good.” My face was buried in my lunch and I barely looked up to acknowledge her. The left over Mac & Cheese tasted too delicious to look away from!
“Why do you say that, because I don’t molest children or rape women?” I replied dryly.
“No, you’re just so good at your job and you help us do things so much better around here.” She replied kindly in her Daisy Duke southern accent.
“Oh, cool.” I replied with my mouthful, slurping and gnawing away on the chow.
“You know, you just don’t seem manipulative and you don’t bully or boss people around.” She gushed with glee and optimism.
I replied even more dryly than before, “That’s because I don’t care.”
“What do you mean?” She asked.
“I mean I don’t care what other people do, so why would I manipulate or boss them around.” I explained.
“Peavey, you are so darn funny. You do to care, you’re tender. I know you, Peavey.” And she wisped off down the hall.
And now I’m left here wondering, how did this woman who I only briefly know from the office see past this rough outer façade I display day after day and peer deep inside my soul to discover the warm, fuzzy and affectionate man that I actually am? She has drilled a hole right through my defenses as if it were a delicious candy coated shell on an M&M and branded me as TENDER!
And what now, do I tell the world “Yes, I do care about you! I am interested in you! I want to know you better!” Do I tell them that I am in fact tender, or do I continue to wear this mask of indifference? I fear that very soon word of my goodness will spread and I’ll be forced to bare the badge of shame, the badge of the Tender Hearted Care Bear.
Yes, I will bear this badge, I’ll wear it with pride and my head held high. I’ll wear it as I work harder to do nice things like hold the door open for people or help elderly ladies carry their groceries to their cars at the store or even apologizing and owning up after letting a huge bomb of a fart in a public place. This is going to change my life…
Eh, what am I saying. This isn’t me at all. Screw you for messing with my head and making me think I was tender, giddy girl from the office.
You suck.
September 26th, 2008 at 7:50 am
I think you should walk into her office and just slap her out of nowhere… Put a stop to that crap right then and there.