Rise Up Against Restroom Inequality!
This morning at work I was walking down the hall, looking forward to taking my daily morning poop when I notice the door to the women’s restroom was propped open. Out of curiosity I glanced inside to discover the PARADISE women enjoy while relieving themselves in the restroom at my place of work.
The women’s restroom here is extremely nice; it’s actually somewhere I’d like to hangout. But what’s worse is how disproportionately better it is than the men’s facilities! Observe the image below to see what I’m referring to.
When I walked into the entrance way of the women’s restroom the smell of fabric softener filled the air, the room was extremely well lit and there is even a public service ad resting on the small table that is situated between two cushy seats reminding women that they don’t have to tolerate getting beat by their husbands! The floors even appeared to have actually been mopped recently. I’d have actually walked in there with my bare feet if I had to!
Now observe the conditions of the adjacent men’s restroom!
The air reeks of urine, there are no side tables, no cushy seats and not even an old milk carton to rest our weary selves on and we get no reminder that we also do not have to endure abuse! Add to that, the floors are sticky with God knows what! I’d almost rather take a dump out in the woods than take one in here. Problem is, until today I didn’t realize it was so bad.
I would liken my experience today to living in Mexico your entire life in an adobe hut. You have plenty of beans, rice and tortillas to eat everyday, your job at the local sweatshop is now paying a whopping $3 a day and while you know life is hard, it’s alright. Then you sneak across the border one night with a buddy and you’re suddenly in the US. Here they have houses that don’t melt in the rain and they have these awesome things called FLOORS! Yes, you don’t have to sleep on the ground and you can get all the beans, rice and tortillas you want (up until 2 AM at select locations) at a place called Taco Bell. But it doesn’t stop there, no sir. You soon learn that they pay the dumbass who works at Taco Bell $7.50 an hour, more than twice what you make in an entire DAY! Suddenly, your life totally blows balls! That’s what my discovery of the women’s restroom today was like!
Even sadder is the utter lack of space men have to actually do their business in our restroom. We don’t even have a handicap stall and the two regular stalls are so small that you have to straddle the toilet to open the door and get out! I’d have gone into one of the women’s stalls to inspect the amount of space they enjoy but I feared that I’d find flat panel TV’s and a bidet! In which case I’d have had to either quit my job out of principle or even more likely, I’d just start using the women’s restroom to take my morning poop sessions!
Bottom line, this is pure and simple inequality. I’m sick and tired of hearing women bitch and moan about sexual harassment and being paid a lesser wage. Sure, we all cop a feel on the occasional office hottie in the breakroom from time to time and yes, I do make $5 an hour more than the chick down the hall who does the exact same job as I do, but that’s beside the point. You have a real trash can and a handicap stall to abuse!
You know not what pure joy is until you’ve used the handicap stall to take a massive dump. It’s awesome. You can let it rip as loud as your heart desires and no one can tell it’s you because the stall is so large that they can’t see your feet from under that walls! It’s pure freedom!
Check out a few of the other monstrosities that plague our men’s restroom at work! Pathetic!
