I hate fat kids.
This morning while I was sitting at a red light on my way to work I noticed a fat little chub of a kid sitting in the backseat of the car beside me. In his hands was what appeared to be a gigantic bacon, egg and cheese biscuit. The little porker was tearing into it like a great white shark tears into the flesh of a blubbery seal. I nearly threw up in my mouth at the site of the little piglet eating his grub.
In the front seat was the porker’s mom. Somehow she was managing to woof down a biscuit of her own, sip on a soda and drive all at the same time. Her overly rosy chubby cheeks almost seemed to be bulging out from her skull like a pair of infected goiters and her plump lips were swathed in a mixture of biscuit crumbs and thick red lipstick. It was almost as if she were a living, breathing caricature, a perfected stereotype of morbidly obese women everywhere.
This family wasn’t simply overweight, they were massive. They were the type of fat people who you could only ever imagine as being fat. The type of people who even if they lost 200 pounds, they’d still have that big over sized melon of a head with the rosy chubby cheeks and the plump tootsie roll lips! If you ever watched the original Willie Wonka movie with Gene Wilder and you think back to the character Augustus Gloop then you know the type of person I’m talking about. I’m referring to the die hard glutton.
I hate these people but even more so, I hate their kids. These are the type of people who herd around the buffet, packing down plate after plate and stuffing their faces to the point that they’re vomiting and in extreme pain. Then they pass their pathetic habits on to their children. These are the type of people who always eat an appetizer, never pass on dessert then wash it all down with a milk shake. When I used to wait tables I had to deal with fatties like these all the time. While they make me sick what really causes the nausea is the fat little piglets they spawn!
The average morbidly obese porker kid is a selfish, whiny ass brat with a bottomless pit for a stomach. They always have their little grubby hands in something, they always want to drink chocolate milk with everything and they always eat ALL their food! The parent enables this pathetic behavior, actually they reinforce it.
These chubs are generally lazy, non-motivated and pathetic. They tend to grow up to have poor work ethic and they care only about where their next meal or snack is coming from.
How do I know this? It’s because I used to be one. I used to have the attitude. As a child I remember always reaching for the cookies jar. I remember eating entire pizzas on my own as a 12 year old. I remember not being able to run because the friction between my jiggly thighs caused rug burn near my groin. I was so pitiable, I used to time out my meals! My mom let me eat ever 4 hours, so every 4 hours I made myself a snack NO MATTER WHAT! I used to eat bologna sandwiches with potato chips on them for God’s sake. I’d eat entire bags of Oreos dipped in cool aid. My God, I’m surprised I wasn’t snorting Pixie sticks I was so addicted to food.
But one day I left all that behind. I quit being a whiny, lazy, sorry fat ass! Today I’m still a little chubby but at least I hit the gym regularly and get out and actually live life. I’m not one of these sorry fat-souls who won’t even take the stairs or walk to the end of the drive way to get their own mail. (Yes, I’ve known fat asses that would actually drive their car to the end of the drive way to get their mail.)
These people make me sick. I knew one fat ass once that wouldn’t go to the second floor of our local mall because the escalator was broken. He actually refused to walk up the stairs. I never talked to him again after that day. These are the same chunky bitches that ride the motorized carts around in the stores and always fight for the closest parking spots! Why not walk a few feet for God’s sake? What, your knees hurt? That’s cause you weigh 500 pounds you pathetic piece of shit!
If you want to be a super chunk, fine. But please, quit letting your children follow in your footsteps! Every time I see one of the mini-chunks I have a quick day dream about kicking him/her over the top of a large hill and watching them roll down it! Damn that’s one funny ass day dream! I wish I could live it just one time!