Fo Shizzle My Nizzle
Fo shizzle my nizzle. Wow, it’s like a new urban version of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Fun words made up by the beloved American pop-culture icon, Snoop Dogg. Everybody loves saying fo shizzle my nizzle. Kids, adults, the elderly and the rich and poor alike all enjoy saying these now very famous words.
Try saying it, it’s quite enjoyable. “Fo shizzle my nizzle!” It rolls right off the tongue. Now imagine Snoop Dogg saying it in that cool tone of his and it’s even funnier. Everybody should enjoy using this playful phrase that Snoop Doggy Dogg literally pulled out of his ass… or should they.
Last Friday my wife was in the break room eating lunch when one of her white coworkers said ‘Fo shizzle my nizzle’ around one of her black coworkers. The black coworker proceeded to ream the white coworker for saying a word that is apparently reserved for black folks only.
“You can’t say fo shizzle my nizzle, that’s like saying Fo sure my nigga! You can’t say that shit.”
I have a serious problem with this attitude and the basic idea that she’s conveying here.
First off, its people like you that fuel racist tension between everyone. Quit reminding us that you’re black. I still remember the first time I met this woman. I was at my wife’s office and she was introducing me to everybody when she just so happened to not tell me this lady’s name. That’s when the black coworker decided to announce to the entire office, “Oh, she’s just gonna forget about the black woman!” And of course no one wants to confront this woman for fear of being drug into a dreaded racially charged argument.
So what if my wife forgot to tell me your name, maybe it’s because of that time you told her she was going to look like a cow after she got pregnant! Maybe she didn’t tell me your name because she doesn’t like you!
Before you tell a pregnant woman she’s going to look like a cow, why don’t you take a look in the mirror ugly bitch. You make Whoopi Goldberg look like a Playboy bunny. In fact, I have a new nick name for you: The Missing Link, as in you look like the missing link between man and ape. Not quite man, not quite ape. What the hell are you, you ugly ass bitch?
Secondly, are you really telling me people can literally PULL WORDS out of their ass and decide it’s off limits to people of other race or color? If that’s the case and this is a universal belief amongst the black community then I propose we white folks come up with our own catchy word designated just for us.
Cracklesnoodleicious!
That’s our new word, don’t use it non-whites! In fact, that’s pretty damn clever. Cracklesnoodleicious is now my adjective of choice in all circumstances!
-Dude, that chick is cracklesnoodleicious!
-Hey Shat, lets go get one of those cracklesnoodleicious burritos from Moes!
-Yo Larry Glavitz, did you catch Chipper Jone’s cracklesnoodleicious homerun last night against the Mets?! It was cracklesnoodleicious!
What? You think that’s a lame word? Well so is shizzle and nizzle, and what’s lamer is saying certain people can’t say it. If I hear any of you non-whiteys using my word I’m going to kick you in the crotch! I dare The Missing Link to say it. I’ll be sure to do society a favor and kick her in the ovaries so hard she can’t reproduce if she does!
Fact of the matter is, for every racist white person there’s 10 other white people going out of their way to not appear racist. They actually overcompensate and treat non-white people too nice! Well guess what, I’m through with it. I hate people of all color and ethnicity (including my own) and I’m going to show it. You all suck, you’re all pathetic and you can all go to hell.
I’m done being nice to people because of the color of their skin or where they’re from. Earn my respect and I won’t treat you like an asshole. And next time I see The Missing Link at my wife’s office, you bet your ass I’m going to greet that bitch with a bit fat “Fo Shizzle My Nizzle!”