There are few things in life that make me feel as pathetic as I do after being tricked and lured in for an evening of snuggling followed by no sex by my wife. Here’s how it always goes down. Your lady says she wants to you come to bed early or she snuggles up to you on the couch and the hugging and light petting begins. Soon hugging turns into heavier petting and small kisses, maybe you try to round first base and brush your hands up on her breasts or ass. Eventually my hand is either down her pants, I have a handful ass or I’m all over her cans.
More times than not, by the end of the night my hands end up down my pants while she’s in the other room snoring.
I always dread the words, “Why does everything have to lead to sex?” Are you kidding me!? Why do you think I got married? To me, getting married is the equivalent of infinite prostitution. I work, pay bills and do my best to build a wonderful life for you. That has to be worth getting sex on a nightly basis doesn’t it? But instead my wife has this entirely crazy conception of love.
And what about before she was married? My wife was a freak before we got married! Why does she think I married her? What’s up with these chicks that used to love getting it on when they were single and now only want to snuggle. Snuggling sucks balls and I’m not referring to mine!
Even worse than the damage my wife afflicts upon me is the utter lack of self esteem and respect I feel in myself when I fall for the same trick time after time. I liken it to the stupid dog one of my buddies has who always falls for the trick where you fake throw the ball. The dog always scrambles in a fury of insanity into the other room looking for the toy only to eventually realize you never threw it to begin with. Then what does the dog do? Comes back for more! I’m that stupid begging dog only I have a giant pair of BLUE BALLS! Always begging and falling for the same stupid trick time after time.
I should hold a contest with myself to see how long I could hold out on sex from her. Then maybe eventually she’d get really horny herself and come to me asking for it. But who am I kidding? We all know who’d lose that competition. I wouldn’t last one evening.
Hell, I’m horny right now.
One Comment
You are a dumbass. Everyone knows you don’t buy the milk when you are getting it for free. You are doomed to a life of Playboy in the bathroom and internet porn with your best friend, Lefty.