Do Not Piss Off the Third Graders
The secret war between the teachers and youth of America is heating up! This time a group of nine third graders plotted an attack against their teacher. The official report didn’t specifically state this, but I’m assuming these kids were mentally retarded or disabled someway or other. The teacher was after all a veteran special needs educator.
The whole ordeal is nothing short of amazing. The kids brought a steak knife, handcuffs, even a roll of electrical take and a paper weight (since every murder requires a blunt object) to get the job done. They even went through the trouble of designating someone to cover the windows and thought to assign the low man on the totem pole cleanup duty after the hit had taken place.
I am so impressed with these kids that if this group was in fact considered “challenged” then I propose we give them all Special Olympics badges of honor! They deserve it for thinking abstractly! And if they weren’t challenged, I say we still give them a Special Olympics badge of honor for acting especially RETARDED!
I have to admit that I secretly wish I were the teacher in the classroom that day. I’d have personally welcomed the attacks. Few things in life could be as splendid as having the opportunity to punt a few wimpy ass third graders across the room. I’d pretend I was kicking field goals to win the super bowl! I’d imagine I was Hulk Hogan in Wrestlemania battling a team of deformed demon midgets! Would it not be awesome to drop kick an evil little hyper active brat with a kitchen knife in the head?
I say bring it on wimpy ass children of America. This is the fighting spirit we need in America today! Our future rests in all of you!
Have a laugh and read more about it HERE!