Last week I came across a $1 off coupon on a South Beach diet meal.  Being the penny pincher I am, I used the coupon and figured I’d have a cheap, almost decent lunch for a measly couple bucks.  I was actually a little excited to eat this.  After all, on the box it looks awesome.

 After eating the South Beach Living, Turkey & Bacon Club Wrap Sandwich Kit I feel both dissatisfied and ripped off. In fact, I’d rather spend $2 wiping poop out of my crack than waste my hard earned cash on this stuff ever again. Look at this box, its false advertisement of the worse kind.  I contend it is the worse kind because it’s torturing fat people. After all, those are the real victims here, the fat asses.I can see it now, some super chunk nerd who normally eats 3 double cheese burgers, 2 slaw dogs and a bag of Fritos for lunch just decided to go on a diet.

“Hmm, I think I’ll have some South Beach turkey taco wraps for lunch.  They sure look appetizing. And look, they’re low card, low cal, low fat and high protein.  It’s like manna from heaven.  Thank you Kraft, for South Beach diet.” 

On the cover sits what appears to be a delicious, melty (is that a word) turkey, cheese and bacon burrito.  It almost looks too good to be diet food. Then you open the box and you get this!  Total crap! 

Just for kicks, I found a standard sized paper plate to put my Turkey & Bacon Club wraps on.  You’ll notice that they barely fill half the plate.  On the box the wraps looked huge on the paper plate.  That must be one of those sucky plates they pass the cake out on at weddings. 

People who hog wedding cake blow.

Some might argue, “Hey man, its $2 and its diet food.  What did you expect?”  To those people, I say you need to acquaint yourselves with the dollar menus at fast food restaraunts. Sure, dollar menus add rolls to your belly, give you monster gas and help make American’s more disgusting in general nationwide, but it’s not all bad.  I can always count on that low fat Wendy’s chili and baked potato if I’m feeling like a total fat ass and want to make myself feel less disgusting for frequenting a fast food joint for the 20th time in a week.

Let’s quit fooling ourselves.  So called “diet” frozen dinners and lunches are not low fat, its about as low fat as Krispy Kreme coming out with a diet version of their famous glazed donuts only to find out it’s the exact same donut, only a 5th of the size of their regular donut. 

Yeah, that’s real low fat.  Thanks for nothing douche bags. 

Post Title: South Beach Turkey Tacos Suck!
Your Jackass Author: Peavey
Posted On: 5th March 2008
Filed As: Customer Dissatisfaction
Comment Feed: RSS 2.0

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