This is a warning to all you pathetic, candy ass school children out there! Teachers everywhere are fed up with how utterly inadequate you all are. You are supposed to be the future of this country and quite frankly, we’re all scared to death of what is to come.
Another teacher has taken action against the current generation of complete [...]

In the endless pursuit of making my life less pathetic, I started taking evening programming classes at a local tech college.
One of my instructors pointed us to his personal website where we could download class materials and I started having a look around. It turns out that in addition to being a programmer he’s also [...]

No other moment in cinematic history does a better job of conveying the intense and utter disgust so many office workers feel on a regular basis as that one golden scene from Office Space. Anybody who is familiar with the movie instantly knows the scene where Peter, Samir and Michael Bolton kick the hell out [...]

It’s common knowledge amongst Americans that the majority of the white population of the West Coast consists of tree hugging hippies. These hippies enjoy embracing and living in infinite fear. For these folks, some sort of impending doom always looms on the horizon one way or the other.Now the hippies are scared of WiFi. The [...]

As a child I had a very nervous stomach. Every day up until I graduated high school I’d be hit with the sudden urges to take huge dumps at school, always at the worse possible times.My irritable bowel syndrome was never a problem I could shake until I hit college. I guess the anonymity of [...]

On my way home from work Friday evening, I stopped at the local store to pick up some cokes and cashews to stock up for the Easter weekend and next week.  This store is in the least populated part of the small town that I live near.  After picking up my items and quickly getting [...]

Kudos to MSNBC for shedding light on the new American phenomenon that is the ho-fessional. I do believe this is the next great feminist movement in our society. A movement characterized by women not afraid to use her greatest asset, her fire crotch! A generation not afraid to endure STDs, rug burn on their knees [...]

This is a wonderful email I sent to the HR Director of the company I work for.  Luckily he has a pretty good sense of humor and I can joke around with him, unlike most HR Directors out there.
From: Peavey
Sent: Wednesday, March 19, 2008 2:04 PM
To: Bill #####
Subject:
Dear Bill
Being a fellow male who uses the [...]

I want to briefly step up on the jackass soapbox and comment on the current controversy surrounding Barack Obabma’s association with the Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
Prior to the mass media attention given to the scandal, I had never really heard of the Reverend. So I figured I’d hit the net, do a little research and make [...]

The Supreme Court will take up the case, The District of Columbia v. Heller very soon that will possibly change the legal meaning of the Second Amendment. For the very few of you who don’t know, this case was pushed up to the Supreme Court to settle the matter of whether or not the [...]